Reread #1, April 17th,2013I'd like to start off by saying that my original review of this, the blurb I wrote when I first read this (which you can find below) is a lie. I never cried while reading this book. I know it's probably ridiculous to point it out, and honestly I could easily just continue with the lie, but it's a lie. When I originally finished this, when I was writing up the little blurb, every one around me was talking about how this book had broken them to pieces, how it had made them cry and cry, tears of sadness and of joy, and I thought the only way to express that I too really loved it was to say that I cried. Which is so ridiculous it saddens me. Because I did love this book. I do love this book. This is one of the best books I've ever read and reread and it's okay that I didn't cry. The problem I faced then I still now, however, as I still don't really know how to express myself. It's simple to say "I cried," because people get that. "Oh wow, it must have really hit her hard if she actually CRIED about it. Wowza pants!" I don't know how to fully express myself but here's the best I can do for now.Another truth is that I've never dealt with death, because so far I haven't had too. All of my grandparents have died before my existence, my aunts and uncles and cousins are in perfect health, and my family has never had family friends so I've never had to say good bye to anyone. I've only been to two funerals - one long ago that I barely remember except for the "creepy old dead lady that looked like wax!" that I attended when I was extremely young and one for the brother of a school mate. I think a lot of people think this book is about death, and it is. But it's not. It feels as though unless I don't have a sad story to tell my thoughts are not as valid as someone who does, and that might be true but to me my thoughts are valid and they are the only ones I have.This story hits me hard because of two reasons (especially in regards to this rereading as I know that each time I reread it something new will be important). The first is the concept of who the hell we are and why the hell we're here. Augustus and Hazel face this more immediately then I do, they know their days are soon closed, but I deal with it too. It might seem trivial but I face this issue when I wonder what to study in school, what career to follow, what dreams to chase. Just because death isn't staring me straight in the eye at this moment doesn't mean I don't think about it. It doesn't mean I don't wonder what will become of me. Hazel and Augustus know that they are coming to the end, but I don't and I have a future ahead of me just as scary as the days they had in front of them. Some infinities are bigger than others.The second is this idea of love. The elusive love. I am not an outwardly affectionate person, it's not really my "scene", and so although this book may or may not be primarily a love story it still is one and it aches me so to see two people so perfectly and imperfectly in love. It brings up those thoughts of "Will someone ever love me like that?" "Will I ever find someone that I can love so importantly?" You can shrug it off, I'm only 18, calm down, it'll happen, but I can admit, and this is a deep thought of mine that I probably shouldn't share with the internet and yet here it is, that I fear never loving someone or being loved by someone (who, of course, is not my family). The relationship between Augustus and Hazel is so god damn idyllic that maybe no one has had it, and yet I know millions have.These were some random thoughts for you. I should be studying for exams and my mind I'm literally going crazy so maybe this doesn't make any sense to anyone but there you go. On a note, I think I enjoyed this story more the second time through.First Read January 13th, 2012:Have you ever cried because of a book?I now have.I didn't necessarily cry because of the events in the book, although I will admit they were contributing factors, I cried because the book brought to mind situations and ideas and concepts that I have lived and am living that sometimes feel overwhelming. And this book made them real and made me look at them.This is the saddest and most depressing book I have ever read.This is one of the funniest and wittiest books I have ever read.